Departing a bit from the original intention of this blog, I have some thoughts on flies. Our apartment is filled with houseflies. The apartment is perfectly clean - no, really. Food is never left out, dishes are washed promptly, the trash is covered and taken out regularly, the rabbit's house is cleaned daily, surfaces are clean. It's just New York. It's filled with flies. They can't all fit outside on this little island. Even my classes at Columbia always seem to have flies buzzing around in the classroom. It's a mystery why they are here, and really, the why of it is a second order concern. The first order of business is to get rid of them. I am unfortunately not blessed with quick hands so swatting them isn't very effective for me. I googled 'how to kill flies' and found a clever idea for building a fly trap out of syrup, water, a glass jar, and a screwdriver. You put some syrup in a glass jar, add some water, and poke a fly-size hole in the lid. The idea is that the flies are attracted to the smell, go inside, and either get stuck to the syrup or can't find their way back out of the hole. My flies love this device but won't go inside of it.
So. I stare at the fly on my kitchen cabinet door. He rubs his little fly hands together. He lowers his little sucker thing and tastes my kitchen cabinet door. He washes his head with his little fly hands. And he stares at me. And stares. He is transfixed. I raise my fly-swatter Newsweek. He crouches. I don't move. He stands back up. We stare again. And keep staring. I move my Newsweek towards him but doesn't move. He knows I am going to get him. It's like Anais Nin's snake and mouse in The Eye's Journey, "It's fixed terror, it's incapacity to run away as soon as the snake began to gaze upon it with its unblinking stare. The snake knew it would not struggle but wait transfixed with terror. So the snake lingered and delayed the moment of devouring the mouse, enjoying the certainty."
I learned a lot about fly behavior because of my slow reflexes. You have to position yourself in a comfortable position for swatting the resting fly. Let him get used to you being there. Move the swatter in and around a little to get him used to it. Wait until they are doing something else so they can't fly away as fast once you begin your swat. Wait until they are washing they little fly hands or sucking on the surface. Then, swat! I got at least 25 in this manner and I am incredibly slow. I took piano lessons as a child and grew up playing the saxophone and oboe so you would think I'd be able to flick my wrist fast enough to get a fly, but no. I always had to play the slower songs.
The flies always want to have a handwashing session after buzzing around for a while. So it pays to watch one fly around until he lands. There are always ones that have a strong preference for the ceiling. Just forget about them. Flies only live for two weeks anyway. Just get the ones you can and don't look at the ceiling for two weeks. These fly attack sessions have to go in bursts. After ten or fifteen minutes they will stop engaging with you. Let them calm down and then come back. Also they love to walk around the bodies of their fallen comrades. Try to make a little pile of fly bodies as you swat them and you'll get even more.
